The Drunken Wish

So these are the days where I'm meant to be having the time of my life; out there, enjoying this and doing that. Going out every night and getting so drunk that when i wake up in the morning in my own bed, i have to just sit for a few hours trying to concentrate on a worn stamp sloppily placed on my wrist; all the time hoping that it will give me some form of recollection of the atrocious things i did the previous night. Even having a house party every other weekend with a ridiculous amount of alcohol and too few people there to consume it all; if only that was something i had done.

If only that was what i was actually doing.

It seems silly, wishing all those terrible awkward situations on myself; but because I'll never be able to relate to those friends of mine who have gone to live in halls and in other cities, i feel like i have missed out on a valuable life experience. No matter how drunk, dirty, vomit covered and cold those experiences may have left me, i will always miss out on the stories that most of my friends can tell.

If only I could act like this and not over think everything.

My story will almost always be one of sensibility, one where the protagonist starts uni in the wrong city for a girl, and ends up living in the city for a few years working to live in the hope that his dream job will become available one day. One where no matter how hard he tries, his band will never properly gain any momentum or recognition. Yet even though all these things never happen for him, he lives in a rented house with his friends and has never had too much to worry about money wise.

There is always two sides to a story... That's something that always needs to be pointed out to me. It was because of a girl i stayed here instead of moving away, but I'll be damned if its a girl that pins me down and stops me achieving just one of my dreams.

In a bit Blogger.

All Night Nerd-Fest

So Sunday crept up on me and so off to work i went, thankfully the crowds were being lovely and quiet i managed to be productive. After work i met up with James and we decided to pull an all nighter on any game we could get our hands on. This was a generally successful venture but i had to go for a 2 hour nap at around 8am in order to keep myself from collapsing; however we successfully played throughout the entire night. This is the sort of thing that cheers me right up when i've had a bad week; i can't help being a nerd at heart.

Games help me relax, that's my excuse.

My home slice James and the unreal amount of rubbish we consumed over night.

After this long night, we sat around and continued to play games well into Monday; James then stayed another night and on Tuesday we had band practice. During this practice we discussed our future as a band, one of the main goals was to finish an E.P. and music video by the end of June; its nice to finally have a goal. This band will finally have a direction, and all we need to get there is 5 tracks, 3 of which we basically have written... this is all very exciting for me.

In a bit Blogger.

Assassins Need This Hoody

This is the start of the rest of my life.

That's an interesting thought, i mean when you think about it everyday is a new chance to start again. I could wake up tomorrow and quit both my jobs and uni, and take a loan out and buy a car and insurance and just go anywhere; or on the other hand i could get on a plane and go to Australia, or America, or even New Zealand. All it takes is for me to have a change of heart. I wish that in a year i can look back at this year and see that all the stress, upset, and anger was all for no reason; or at least it was helping me get to a better life.

When i get out the other end of this confusion i will have sorted out my career path and my life goals; in addition to this i hope NSH has actually released an E.P. or something. We may have a new singer, but its simply a case of finding the right person for the job; i would love to think that by the end of next week we will have a singer. That's wishful thinking for you!

I want this hoody so badly. If only i had more money!

Anyways i was walking home from the cinema tonight and happened to get followed by what can only be called a "Hoody". This made me incredibly uneasy but instead of worrying i decided to think of all the insane ways in which i could defend myself; one of which was where i would be tapped on the shoulder and i would spin round and cock slap them. That's right... Cock slap the attacker, then wedgie them. I then realised that I'd begun to walk with attitude, and i mean so much so that i almost fell over.

Seriously what is wrong with my brain!?

In a bit Blogger.

Ranting, Raving and Confessing

So today all i could think about was how pointless Valentines Day is; don't get me wrong, i still make the effort to make it a nice day for Jess, but it's simply a day for card companies to make lots of money. This is a shame because the whole idea of valuing your loved ones is such a good thought and when done well can be magical for the couple involved; but when you look at what the companies involved do and the prices they charge suddenly the whole idea is sullied by profit margins and turnovers.

Damn you Capitalism!

Who cares about your love when you can pass go and collect $200?

In other news I've added another thing to my "To Do" list; I will start to do some cover videos of some of my favorite songs and ill put them on YouTube. The only reason behind doing this is so i can learn some new songs and learn to sing better while playing progressively harder stuff on my guitar; once i master this skill i will be so much happier with myself. If i ever achieve this goal it will make my band work a lot easier and enable me to present my many song ideas easier.

Lastly I'd like to just make clear that as of late I've realised that people may think i am or come across as confident and maybe sometimes arrogant... I'd like to clear that up. I put on a front when i go out of the house or when i am confronted with a new place or people; This is because i have never been able to be confident in myself or my abilities. The level of self confidence is nowhere near enough to be arrogant; my self confidence is lower than just about everyone i know, and i wish sometimes that i could get back some form of self worth. I would just love to have some idea of how people see me, because i never know what people think of me and it worries me greatly.

That'll be all for today, i hope you enjoyed this... Whatever this is classed as; Rant, Confession, Confusion.

In a bit Blogger.

Django Unchained, Jack Tattooed

The past two days have been a lot of fun, and that's mainly thanks to my dad taking me to see Django Unchained and finishing the majority of my business plan for uni. Now Django is a fantastic film, typical Tarantino with blood, guts and gore; it's an odd feeling knowing that going in to the cinema to watch mindless violence with humour and good storytelling can change my mood so rapidly. If only i had been able to sit and watch it on repeat a few times, then maybe i would have enjoyed it even more.

In other news, Jess sat and did some henna on my arm, and i love it although its a shame its not bigger, but there wasn't enough to do anymore. The design is weirdly tribal. Now i don't mean like tattoo tribal, but more like Māori tribal; it's hard to explain properly, however it looks quite good in my opinion, i wish it was there permanently. 

A future tattoo idea?

Anyways it's now late on a Monday night and me and Kyle have just finished half of the script for our video that we've decided to do; i just hope that its a good laugh and that people enjoy it. Until then i guess more script writing will rule my life, among finishing my deadline work!

In a bit Blogger.

Pre-emptive Pancake Preparation

The past three days have been so relaxing it's a bit strange; i mean it's not normal for me to actually be able to calm down and just do nothing for more than a day. Anyway on Friday i got James round to sit and play on Dungeon Defenders for a few hours and it was actually some of the best fun I've had in a while; the game itself is some hybrid of a tower defense game and FPS, which is insanely amusing. Once we had played so much our eyes were square, James went home and Jess came round for the night. Now i don't like scary films and i am indeed a pussy for not being able to watch them without my hand over my face, but we watched Paranormal Activity 2 and it wasn't even slightly bad for me; although Jess was confused about the whole premise of the film, and i don't blame her.

Pancakes all around!

Then the lovely day that is Saturday came around, and for the first time in a while i managed to get it off so i spent the morning sleeping til 11am, which is a godsend, then i went and helped my dad fit a washing machine. Now that sounds a bit out of the blue, but he does odd jobs repairing things in his free time and this particular job was one for a man of the ripe old age of ninety.

That right... Ninety years young.

Let me put that in context for you, he is seventy years older than me; he lived through the second world war and he's seen the world change an incredible amount in that time. Computers and modern technology that we take for granted were a distant dream when he was a teenager; this means that as he was born in 1922 he lived through the era of Jazz. He referred to it as "music from America" and he had thousands of records in his small flat; that's right THOUSANDS.

This man was extraordinary and i was so happy to be able to talk to him and gain an insight into how the world was first hand; this just made my Saturday. In addition i also sat and watched Spirited Away for the first time and made pancakes with Kyle, Emma H and Emma W in preparation for Tuesday and all the pancake-y shenanigans; I love living in this house with my friends.

In a bit Blogger.

Re-Motivation Attempt.

So the past few days have been a bit interesting, well i lie; they were just mediocre but when you do nothing for a long time, anything is more interesting.

I'm not sure if that sentence made sense.

Anyway, I've managed to finally trump the tax man and hopefully get all my beloved tax back! In addition to this i have finally got back into the routine of going to the gym 3/4 times a week; and it feels good. So basically i went to uni on Wednesday and hated it, but then something very odd happened... As i left the building to go to the bus home, i suddenly began to feel motivated! Now this doesn't seem like much to most others but considering I've been absolutely cabbaged for a while now, this was a god send. I've planned out several projects to keep me going up until summer and then i will have to see what happens from then; this may seem short sighted but as i have no definitive full time job after uni, I'm not one hundred percent sure what will happen.

I should print this out and use it as my motto.

The picture you see above is what i saw yesterday while roaming the internet and it just struck a chord with me straight away; I've never quit a job and I've never quit education, given i was extremely close to dropping out of uni... But i stuck at it.

Maybe this is what i needed. That sentence means an awful lot to me, I won't quit on something just because its too damn hard. I can't do it, maybe it's because of the way my mum never stuck at one job for very long; now don't get me wrong, my mum is an incredible person. Bubbly, Fun, Always looks at the best things; she just hasn't found the right job yet, and that scares me. I couldn't change jobs every year or so like her and i believe I've translated that into my personal life and education.

Maybe you could take that saying and use it to help keep you going; It does that for me, i would love to know if that does it for you.

In a bit Blogger.

Avengers Procrastinate!

I have decided that once i save up enough money, i am going to set up several gigs across the UK and get my band to tour. All this plan requires is a lot of money and a singer; the second requirement is a bit more difficult, as all my band have managed to do is write a lot of tunes and material but due to a lack of vocals they are not "Songs".

Anyways I've spent my Sunday sleeping til 2pm and then finishing watching The Avengers, which some would consider a good afternoon; but I'm sick of having to miss half my day because my body clock refuses to wake up early for anything bar work. I then spent the rest of that day lounging about the house, eating pancakes and generally worrying about the fact that i have lost any motivation to do anything.

One of my favorite movies to date, Hopefully the next installment will be just as amazing!

I haven't updated my blog in two days, this is the first time since starting them that I've just looked at it and done absolutely nothing about it. That upsets me, after all I've tried to do one every day and i managed to mess that one up. However on Monday i went to the gym with Kyle before seeing Jess briefly and this managed to cheer me up quite a bit. I then managed to persuade James to come online and play several hours of games which was always going to be a good laugh; before i knew it the clock had struck 2am and i decided to go to bed to save my sanity.

Today i think i might go to the cinema with Emma and get our free unopened gift from Pizza Hut; fingers crossed it will be an iPad or some crazy stuff like that. Unfortunately that is quite literally my life today, nothing of massive note; apart from i was quite looking forward to a little adventure but then got cancelled due to illness, I guess things happen for a reason!

In a bit Blogger.

The Musical Epiphany

Earlier this week i vowed to myself i would change my life around because, after new year, it never really got kick-started again. That was due to many things like: sleep pattern, shift work, uni deadlines and several other factors. This slowly began to pile on top of me after i went back to university; deadlines looming and friendships straining.

Meanwhile my whole musical life just stopped.

My Bedroom is slowly becoming some weird blogging sphere.

Now don't get me wrong when i say that, obviously it couldn't have stopped with all the band practices and uni work going on; but i hadn't just sat and played my guitar in years. That used to be such a big part of me when i was younger and i feel like i have lost that; i can't even explain how much that had hit me when i was sitting in my room earlier. I've since decided that i will try to practice my guitar everyday and also try to get to the gym 4 times a week and eat healthier; given this is a hard task, but I'm damn sick of doing nothing with my life.

Hopefully a month from now i will have kept with my program and with any luck i will be in better shape. This began with this weekend as i totally blitzed my room and managed to make it a much more live-able place. I'm now saving up for two things, the first is a decent video camera to begin my vlogs and the second is a 4x12 cab for my amp so i can deafen myself and the neighbours. Hey ho YOLO... My god that is infectious; Kyle has been saying it for months and its now rubbing off.

Damn it Kyle!

In a bit Blogger.

Tidying The Sty

Today has been rather uneventful if i were to be deadly honest. Having woken up around 12:45 and gone to the gym an hour later i hadn't even had the slightest whiff of morning; this however, didn't deter me from setting off to the gym with ye olde companion Kyle. Fridays are slowly becoming chest and slight shoulders day, this is thanks to Kyle slowly changing round his routine; and i tend to follow his routine as it works for me.

Me emerging from my room after a rough night.

I then wandered off to the pub with Mark from work, not to drink per say but to just have a catch up and see how he's doing. After this we wandered towards The Chillingham and sat there to have a drink, although again i refused alcohol and had a pint of coke; not as much of a health kick as i would have liked. So then i called time and went home, i decided that tidying my room was the order for the remainder of the day; except my eye caught YouTube and i began to watch a YouTuber called "crabstickz".

Now this guy is fantastic and i recommend you check his channel out, his impressions and facial expressions are priceless and to some degree he reminds me of Jim Carrey. Don't ask me why because i don't know and i can't quite pin it but he has had me in stitches all of today; so that's a mini review for anyone having a look through these!

My room quite literally has been turned around and now my desk is in such a position in which it has good lighting for my future vlogs (whenever they may arise), and also it feels a lot nicer and productive. I'm not entirely sure how a space can feel productive but it does; fingers crossed that this rings true for the rest of my uni course!

In a bit Blogger.