The Drunken Wish

So these are the days where I'm meant to be having the time of my life; out there, enjoying this and doing that. Going out every night and getting so drunk that when i wake up in the morning in my own bed, i have to just sit for a few hours trying to concentrate on a worn stamp sloppily placed on my wrist; all the time hoping that it will give me some form of recollection of the atrocious things i did the previous night. Even having a house party every other weekend with a ridiculous amount of alcohol and too few people there to consume it all; if only that was something i had done.

If only that was what i was actually doing.

It seems silly, wishing all those terrible awkward situations on myself; but because I'll never be able to relate to those friends of mine who have gone to live in halls and in other cities, i feel like i have missed out on a valuable life experience. No matter how drunk, dirty, vomit covered and cold those experiences may have left me, i will always miss out on the stories that most of my friends can tell.

If only I could act like this and not over think everything.

My story will almost always be one of sensibility, one where the protagonist starts uni in the wrong city for a girl, and ends up living in the city for a few years working to live in the hope that his dream job will become available one day. One where no matter how hard he tries, his band will never properly gain any momentum or recognition. Yet even though all these things never happen for him, he lives in a rented house with his friends and has never had too much to worry about money wise.

There is always two sides to a story... That's something that always needs to be pointed out to me. It was because of a girl i stayed here instead of moving away, but I'll be damned if its a girl that pins me down and stops me achieving just one of my dreams.

In a bit Blogger.

All Night Nerd-Fest

So Sunday crept up on me and so off to work i went, thankfully the crowds were being lovely and quiet i managed to be productive. After work i met up with James and we decided to pull an all nighter on any game we could get our hands on. This was a generally successful venture but i had to go for a 2 hour nap at around 8am in order to keep myself from collapsing; however we successfully played throughout the entire night. This is the sort of thing that cheers me right up when i've had a bad week; i can't help being a nerd at heart.

Games help me relax, that's my excuse.

My home slice James and the unreal amount of rubbish we consumed over night.

After this long night, we sat around and continued to play games well into Monday; James then stayed another night and on Tuesday we had band practice. During this practice we discussed our future as a band, one of the main goals was to finish an E.P. and music video by the end of June; its nice to finally have a goal. This band will finally have a direction, and all we need to get there is 5 tracks, 3 of which we basically have written... this is all very exciting for me.

In a bit Blogger.

Assassins Need This Hoody

This is the start of the rest of my life.

That's an interesting thought, i mean when you think about it everyday is a new chance to start again. I could wake up tomorrow and quit both my jobs and uni, and take a loan out and buy a car and insurance and just go anywhere; or on the other hand i could get on a plane and go to Australia, or America, or even New Zealand. All it takes is for me to have a change of heart. I wish that in a year i can look back at this year and see that all the stress, upset, and anger was all for no reason; or at least it was helping me get to a better life.

When i get out the other end of this confusion i will have sorted out my career path and my life goals; in addition to this i hope NSH has actually released an E.P. or something. We may have a new singer, but its simply a case of finding the right person for the job; i would love to think that by the end of next week we will have a singer. That's wishful thinking for you!

I want this hoody so badly. If only i had more money!

Anyways i was walking home from the cinema tonight and happened to get followed by what can only be called a "Hoody". This made me incredibly uneasy but instead of worrying i decided to think of all the insane ways in which i could defend myself; one of which was where i would be tapped on the shoulder and i would spin round and cock slap them. That's right... Cock slap the attacker, then wedgie them. I then realised that I'd begun to walk with attitude, and i mean so much so that i almost fell over.

Seriously what is wrong with my brain!?

In a bit Blogger.

Ranting, Raving and Confessing

So today all i could think about was how pointless Valentines Day is; don't get me wrong, i still make the effort to make it a nice day for Jess, but it's simply a day for card companies to make lots of money. This is a shame because the whole idea of valuing your loved ones is such a good thought and when done well can be magical for the couple involved; but when you look at what the companies involved do and the prices they charge suddenly the whole idea is sullied by profit margins and turnovers.

Damn you Capitalism!

Who cares about your love when you can pass go and collect $200?

In other news I've added another thing to my "To Do" list; I will start to do some cover videos of some of my favorite songs and ill put them on YouTube. The only reason behind doing this is so i can learn some new songs and learn to sing better while playing progressively harder stuff on my guitar; once i master this skill i will be so much happier with myself. If i ever achieve this goal it will make my band work a lot easier and enable me to present my many song ideas easier.

Lastly I'd like to just make clear that as of late I've realised that people may think i am or come across as confident and maybe sometimes arrogant... I'd like to clear that up. I put on a front when i go out of the house or when i am confronted with a new place or people; This is because i have never been able to be confident in myself or my abilities. The level of self confidence is nowhere near enough to be arrogant; my self confidence is lower than just about everyone i know, and i wish sometimes that i could get back some form of self worth. I would just love to have some idea of how people see me, because i never know what people think of me and it worries me greatly.

That'll be all for today, i hope you enjoyed this... Whatever this is classed as; Rant, Confession, Confusion.

In a bit Blogger.

Django Unchained, Jack Tattooed

The past two days have been a lot of fun, and that's mainly thanks to my dad taking me to see Django Unchained and finishing the majority of my business plan for uni. Now Django is a fantastic film, typical Tarantino with blood, guts and gore; it's an odd feeling knowing that going in to the cinema to watch mindless violence with humour and good storytelling can change my mood so rapidly. If only i had been able to sit and watch it on repeat a few times, then maybe i would have enjoyed it even more.

In other news, Jess sat and did some henna on my arm, and i love it although its a shame its not bigger, but there wasn't enough to do anymore. The design is weirdly tribal. Now i don't mean like tattoo tribal, but more like Māori tribal; it's hard to explain properly, however it looks quite good in my opinion, i wish it was there permanently. 

A future tattoo idea?

Anyways it's now late on a Monday night and me and Kyle have just finished half of the script for our video that we've decided to do; i just hope that its a good laugh and that people enjoy it. Until then i guess more script writing will rule my life, among finishing my deadline work!

In a bit Blogger.

Pre-emptive Pancake Preparation

The past three days have been so relaxing it's a bit strange; i mean it's not normal for me to actually be able to calm down and just do nothing for more than a day. Anyway on Friday i got James round to sit and play on Dungeon Defenders for a few hours and it was actually some of the best fun I've had in a while; the game itself is some hybrid of a tower defense game and FPS, which is insanely amusing. Once we had played so much our eyes were square, James went home and Jess came round for the night. Now i don't like scary films and i am indeed a pussy for not being able to watch them without my hand over my face, but we watched Paranormal Activity 2 and it wasn't even slightly bad for me; although Jess was confused about the whole premise of the film, and i don't blame her.

Pancakes all around!

Then the lovely day that is Saturday came around, and for the first time in a while i managed to get it off so i spent the morning sleeping til 11am, which is a godsend, then i went and helped my dad fit a washing machine. Now that sounds a bit out of the blue, but he does odd jobs repairing things in his free time and this particular job was one for a man of the ripe old age of ninety.

That right... Ninety years young.

Let me put that in context for you, he is seventy years older than me; he lived through the second world war and he's seen the world change an incredible amount in that time. Computers and modern technology that we take for granted were a distant dream when he was a teenager; this means that as he was born in 1922 he lived through the era of Jazz. He referred to it as "music from America" and he had thousands of records in his small flat; that's right THOUSANDS.

This man was extraordinary and i was so happy to be able to talk to him and gain an insight into how the world was first hand; this just made my Saturday. In addition i also sat and watched Spirited Away for the first time and made pancakes with Kyle, Emma H and Emma W in preparation for Tuesday and all the pancake-y shenanigans; I love living in this house with my friends.

In a bit Blogger.

Re-Motivation Attempt.

So the past few days have been a bit interesting, well i lie; they were just mediocre but when you do nothing for a long time, anything is more interesting.

I'm not sure if that sentence made sense.

Anyway, I've managed to finally trump the tax man and hopefully get all my beloved tax back! In addition to this i have finally got back into the routine of going to the gym 3/4 times a week; and it feels good. So basically i went to uni on Wednesday and hated it, but then something very odd happened... As i left the building to go to the bus home, i suddenly began to feel motivated! Now this doesn't seem like much to most others but considering I've been absolutely cabbaged for a while now, this was a god send. I've planned out several projects to keep me going up until summer and then i will have to see what happens from then; this may seem short sighted but as i have no definitive full time job after uni, I'm not one hundred percent sure what will happen.

I should print this out and use it as my motto.

The picture you see above is what i saw yesterday while roaming the internet and it just struck a chord with me straight away; I've never quit a job and I've never quit education, given i was extremely close to dropping out of uni... But i stuck at it.

Maybe this is what i needed. That sentence means an awful lot to me, I won't quit on something just because its too damn hard. I can't do it, maybe it's because of the way my mum never stuck at one job for very long; now don't get me wrong, my mum is an incredible person. Bubbly, Fun, Always looks at the best things; she just hasn't found the right job yet, and that scares me. I couldn't change jobs every year or so like her and i believe I've translated that into my personal life and education.

Maybe you could take that saying and use it to help keep you going; It does that for me, i would love to know if that does it for you.

In a bit Blogger.